Sunday, October 7, 2012
When Life is Messy
I only know a few people whose lives seem to be always pretty, tidy, on time, and happy.
Most people are like us, Tim and Emily Minich. Sometimes life is messy. Sometimes life is dirty, late, hurting, out of control.
For a long time after Ilse was born, Tim and I felt like we were swimming in concrete just trying to get us and the kids through each minute alive. Having sleep and food was an added bonus, but not necessary.
Eventually the concrete thinned out and we were mostly managing pretty well. Occasionally, though, there is day like today.... Ok, a month like this one. This month I feel like everything we are doing is hard.
Today we forgot the nursing home. Instead of remembering, we worked our butts off in the garage yesterday trying to make room for a second refrigerator so we could have food made for in advance for Ilse. Instead of preparing for today by making Ilse's blend last night (which is what I usually do) I suffered through feeding her super late last night and then crashed in bed. I didn't even hear her in the night when she fussed. Tim told me this morning. She didn't wake up until 9 this morning because she is sick. :( I didn't wake her up to get to church. She needs her sleep so she can get well, and even so she has a low grade fever this morning. I made her blend this morning. I chose to be late for church so I could make it and not have to feed her something that makes her even more congested than she already is, her being sick and all.
Then I realized that in my laundry washing yesterday (and I washed a lot of laundry) I had forgotten to wash Tim slacks. So I had to iron some. They don't iron easy. Then Ilse barfed (I caught it!) and had a massive doody. I have to wash the swing cover over that one. Before 11am I had given Ilse three medicines, and there are 4 more to go. I realize now I forgot to bring one to church, and why on earth am I bothering calling it church since we got here... at ten to noon?
Life is messy sometimes.
Now that it is later and Tim and I have spent more hours working in the garage, and I have made Ilse's blend, washed more laundry, taken care of the children, etc., I feel much better than I did this morning.
You know, I refuse to feel badly about how our morning went. (We do feel horrible though over the poor old people sitting at the nursing home and waiting for church that never happened.) I feel like I am doing the best I can, and I hope no one looks down on us for our lives being messy sometimes. Is there really anyone whose life is not messy, if they are very honest? My floor is dirty, but my boys are happy. I washed most of Ilse's laundry, but my vanity counter is foul. I don't remember the last time I sat down to read my bible, but I did get to turn on proverbs the other day and it played while I was doing my jobs.
We are happy over here even when months or days are hard. We love each other and we just do our best.
I think that is what matters to the Lord.