Monday, December 5, 2011

Seven months of Ilse-ness

Written December 4, 2011

Today was our sweet Ilse's seven month birthday. She has grown and changed so much in these short months... And even though I say short, I still feel like I have always known her. I adore every little thing about her. I wonder at how she moves her legs when she is going to sleep... like she is a gymnast or something. She bends her hips and kicks both legs straight out in front of her, so that she is a ninety degree angle. I love seeing how she flexes her fingers out straight in an unconscious gesture that says, 'I am sleeping; please don't disturb me!' She used to hold her hand out in front of her like a stop sign when she was doing this, but now she just straightens out her hand wherever it is in her nice sleeping position.

She has come from looking like my little brown Eskimo baby

to my perfectly pink lovely girl.

She has gone from sleeping constantly

to regarding the world with joy and interest.

She has gone from eating 10 mls a few times a day to eating more than five ounces six times a day, with some more thrown in during the night for good measure.

She used to lay like a bump on a log, with both arms dangling on either side of her. Now she almost always holds her hands like she is praying, which is such a nice developmental step.

She loves her brother Joey. He always takes time to play with her, and she smiles whenever she sees him.

I remember the day she started smiling at her toys.

And I remember when she was this tiny.....

Now she is quite long!

When she came home from the hospital at a month old she had no strength whatsoever. We had to prop her up in her little bouncy seat, and she still flopped everywhere.

Now she nearly fills her bouncy seat and her swing, and she could wiggle all the way out of each if I didn't catch her.

She used to sleep in our room, and I remember struggling to find the safest way to have her sleep. I was so afraid she would throw up and choke to death in the night if I positioned her wrong. A few times Tim jolted awake to save her from choking. I was so tired I hadn't heard a thing.

When she could turn her head really well and had ceased staying asleep with us in the room, we moved her to her own room that we all worked so hard to decorate.

It took forever to unload the bags we brought home from the hospital.

But we were so happy to have all three of our babies finally together that we didn't care about the disaster.

Thinking back to the day of Ilse's birth and the month following hurts, but I must be starting to heal because I noticed that I voluntarily brought it up this week to Tim. I think that I am healing, and then I remember something else and nearly cry, so I start thinking about more recent events as fast as I can.

Today at nap time Ilse was talking and squirming so happily before she fell asleep.

She is a joy and truly is my "Darlin' Darlin'" as I sing to her every night.

And every night I tell her the gospel and remind her that even if she can never understand it, our God is merciful.

Because He is.

"Lord, You are good and do good. Righteous are You, O Lord, and upright are Your judgments. You have commanded Your testimonies in righteousness and exceeding faithfulness. Let my soul live, that it may praise You." Select verses from Psalm 119.

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