Monday, April 18, 2011

Decisions, Decisions

I had my 32 week Ilse appointment today, and I had a lot to talk to the doctor about.  Why was I so infernally lightheaded the last two days?!?  I wasn't good for anything on Saturday or Sunday.  I even cried over it.  Dumb, but true.  There is nothing worse (to me) than feeling absolutely worthless, and when I can't drive Tim somewhere he needs to be because I am so lightheaded I'd crash the car, that's the time I feel worthless.  Then, and when the house is a dump, like it is right now.  My dishwasher has decided that it will clean everything but the silverware, which is coated in a residue so disgusting, even if I use vinegar with the detergent.... so I have pounds and pounds of dirty, soaking silverware that I have been putting off washing because I don't want to stand up that long.  That makes me feel quite worthless. 

But, you say, just tough it out! 

Well... I suppose I could.  If I wanted to fall over, stress myself out, send myself into preeclampsia.... you get the picture.  I'll stick with babying myself a bit these last six weeks.

And I say six weeks because, based on what the doctor told me today, we've decided to induce on May 31, unless my blood pressure causes us to deliver even earlier. 

Here's the reasoning (in case you're interested):

Babies are considered full term at 37 weeks, and we're going to let Ilse cook for 9 days longer than that. 

She is currently measuring 2 weeks ahead.... not good for my you-know-what!  The doctor said if we go to the due date or after (since first babies are usually late) I will be in for a C-section because of her size.  She simply won't fit.  I'd personally like to avoid that if possible.

We have another ultrasound at 34 weeks, and if Ilse really is as big as they think, we'll solidify the induction date and have her that day, May 31. 

My blood pressure is chronically high, so the sooner we deliver her the better.  Every time I go to the doctor, someone says, "And you're not on medicine for this?" Today my blood pressure was 133 over 94, which the doctor said is equivalent to the 148 over 84 or 83 or 89 I've been having.  If I remember right, that was very close to the number that made the doctor send Kim to the hospital to be induced for Luke.


There is one other consideration (financial) into which I will not go, but it is a good reason.  :)

That's our news.  Unless something changes, it's looking like Ilse's birthday will be May 31, 2011.  That's a good day I think. 

I'm going to do everything I can to keep calm, de-stressed, and not overdo it so that I don't send my blood pressure up.  Also, I'm going to hurry up and do the last minute things that I have carefully spaced out over the next several weeks... I'll do them earlier and closer together and with more help from Tim.  I won't wait until 36 weeks to pack the boys' bag like I had planned.  I'll probably do it in the next few days, just because of how I felt over the weekend.  Something was wrong..... generally I'm never rude (I HOPE!) to people at church, but I left church on Sunday thinking I'd been rude to two people.  I was so out of it with my lightheadedness that I wasn't socially aware at all.  I also heard myself saying some completely weird things.

I'm also going to try to keep my weight gain down.  The problem is, now that I've slowly started to gain weight (I'm just barely over my pre getting the boys weight, and no, I won't tell you what that was, except I did tell one person, but if she tells, boy do I have some dirt to tell on her!  :)  I am just so hungry!  Before, I wasn't hungry at all.  And then, I was hungry but everything sounded so gross I couldn't eat it.  Just in the last month have I been hungry and wanting to eat.  Unfortunately, I've been wanting to eat Pringles and Ben and Jerry's.  And salmon and broccoli.... and my new fave.... TOMATO PIE!  Yum!

At any rate, I don't want to give in to my hunger (even though I certainly don't eat too much... the doctor is always after me to eat more if I let on how much I really eat, which I try not to do because I almost threw up in the doctor's office looking at the giant list of food I'm supposed to be eating) because I don't want Ilse to be even bigger than she's going to be.  I guess I feel like if she needs to dine more than I'm letting her, she can eat what's left of my butt or leg fat.

I know this was a very convoluted post.  But honestly, that's just what happens when one is so confused she can't even remember where she put the bulletins for the church sing thing on Friday.  I'm pretty sure I bought them early, but I simply can't remember. 

Pray for us as we try to make it these last six weeks.  I do not want to have preeclampsia.  And as much as I adore my husband.... I have to say, at this juncture, I'm wishing his genes were not quite so big.  My sister (married to my husband's brother) delivered an 8 pound 14 ounce baby eleven days early.  That is huge.  And, I must not forget to mention, that weight was noted after Charlie peed all over the nurses and the paperwork.  Before he peed he was over 9 pounds.  Big genes.... oh my.

What can I say.  :)

5 comments:

  1. May you have a peace filled decision!

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  2. I didn't realize Charlie was early! :)Absoloutely loved watching him pee all over the nurses chart. That was hilarious!

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  3. *hugs*

    Oh, Em. I'm wishing I lived closer so I could come over and help with your silverware! *HUGS*

    God is watching over you and Ilse...you have many people who love, love, love you and you don't have to do everything by yourself. You're not worthless - God has you working on a very special and unique job right now...far more important than doing dishes or driving.

    Ask for help when you need it-it's part of being in God's family.

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  4. I can relate to how you feel...but just know that taking care of yourself and your sweet baby girl is the most important job you have right now...so don't get too down on yourself!

    Also, Johnathan was born at 37 weeks and did fantastic...granted, it was a c-section which you can hopefully avoid, but he was considered full term even though he was a bit on the tiny side...just over 6 lbs! ;)

    Take care of yourself these last several weeks. Sweet Ilse will be here before you know it!

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  5. Thanks friends! Those things are what Tim is always telling me. In fact, he's planning that on Friday I don't get to do anything but lay down on the couch. I'm supposed to print up detailed instructions for what I want him to accomplish around the house while I rest and supervise. :) He's uber sweet, but that ain't gonna happen. I told him I'd be more stressed out if I don't do anything. I have to get some jobs done. I love that he is so generous about it, though.

    I did wash my silverware. It took me two days of doing it off and on. Now I just have to put it away instead of using it off the paper towel it dried on. :)

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