(Did anyone notice my correct grammar in the title? :) )
Saturday, November 20, is coming up fast. It is only 6 days away! Tim and I are unbelievably excited. To have the state out of our business, to have our own children in our house answerable only to us (and God of course, but I shouldn't have to make disclaimers), to know that so long as we follow the law no one but God can take them away from us... and the list goes on.
We can't wait to love these children until God takes them home, hopefully long after we die.
Joseph is currently learning how he has to obey. This is, apparently, a very hard concept. Honestly, I don't remember learning it. All I remember is knowing that a child is supposed to obey. I don't think Joey even thinks anyone can tell him what to do. He is generally compliant, but sometimes he gets in a mood where every single thing he does is wrong. And I can't tie it to anything. I can't say it's because we did anything differently, or because there is a weird situation someone involving him, or anything. Sometimes it's just out of the blue. He just wants to ignore Bam-Bam, or he just wants to take Bam-Bam's toy and not give it back. Or he just refuses to say he's sorry, or he won't stop being loud, or he won't keep his mouth off the shopping cart, or whatever it is. Today he did something (it was the first in a long line of infractions and I've forgotten what it was) and we sent him to time out on his bed. Well, instantaneously there was bawling. And bawling! And bawling! He wouldn't stop. Was he sad that he had disobeyed? No. He was involved in self-pity. Tim went in and talked to him because I just couldn't, and he explained to our baby Yoey and it is one thing to cry with a broken and contrite heart, and it is something entirely different to cry in self pity. It is entirely unacceptable. And you know what? He stopped his bawling and worked on his attitude.
This is going to be a long process. No one has ever taught these kids how to obey.
I remember the first or second day we had the boys, and Christopher just wouldn't do anything we said. NOTHING. I had never seen anything like it. So I took him into his room, and after he stopped screaming 'NO!', we had obedience practice. Sit down. Stand up. Sit down. Stand up. Ad infititum ad nauseum, but he learned. And he has known what obey meant every since. Does he always do it? Ummm, no. Not even close. But at least he knows what it means.
We're still working on explaining to Joey the concept of he HAS to obey, and parental authority, and all that. Like I said, it will be a long process. And sometimes I get discouraged, because even though they seem to behave pretty well when people are watching, people don't see the horrendous things they do sometimes. Like the other day when I (ignorantly, apparently, but WHO could have known) left Bam-Bam on the potty to poop and he played in it. I had no idea a three year old would take it into his head to just dip his hands in and spread the water everywhere, but he did.... and now he won't ever again. I've left him there a couple times since, and he hasn't done it again.
On the whole, the boys are doing fabulously. Their speech, mobility, attitudes, understanding about life, and general outlook are amazing. We're so thankful for them, and we can't wait until the boys truly are Minichs.