We've gotten a bit of grief from various people regarding some of the boys' little eccentricities.
(Don't apologize... this goes with parenting, right? :) I don't mind the grief, but I do want people to be careful not to make the boys feel badly about themselves. )
Pacifiers, for one.
Being held or carried, for two.
We know it isn't normal for four and three year olds to suck on pacifiers or to want to be carried everywhere and held. But these boys are not normal.
They were probably never allowed to be children.... I know Joey wasn't. His first year was spent in a constant state of stress, and his next three years weren't much better. The only difference, probably, was that he got to eat more often. Christopher didn't ever have continuity either. No one ever told him, "You're MY baby, and I'm going to keep you forever!"
Regression is very common for adoptees. I wish I knew an article on the subject to share with everyone. I'm sure Christie does, but I'm not as 'in the know'. :)
These boys will not do everything exactly when everyone else does... well, they might, but they might not. Their speech is improving, but their little hearts still need comforting. If a paci makes them feel safe and like they are being taken care of, then I want them to have one. They will stop using it when they are ready to move on, and I'm not going to hurry them. They need to be free to be babies for a while. Everyone should get to experience being a baby. The sad thing is that it happens so late for some kids.